The beginning of Vol.2 of the doctor/patient short stories I am writing. This one explores the drama surrounding a stubbed toe (the events are loosely based on real life injuries and my reactions to them)
28/12/2011
26/12/2011
21/12/2011
FOUND: photo of someone in my family (not sure who)
Circa 1950 I think, but then no one has suggested another date, or claimed this child to be them/ related to them. Probably a great aunt of mine or something. Poor girl, she really wasn't feeling the baby blue, nor the UFO style headband resting on top of her head.
20/12/2011
FOUND: PHOTOGRAPHS OF NEW YORK CITY
From the book 'New York' by Reinhart Wolf, published in Hamburg, 1980, written in French. Some of my favourite architectural photographs of New York.
FOUND: TYPE #1
FOUND: PHOTO #1
I was rooting through my things and found a collection of old photos...of strangers. I don't know anyone in any one of the photographs, which have been taken on a number of cameras over a number of years. I vaguely remember finding them in a box I bought in a junk shop, but can't be sure. I'll post the rest when I am at home and can scan them, but for now...
STUPID AD.
I want to make a short film promoting safe sex, and here is a gif I made exploring the rough idea for the ad (as you can see it's still very basic)
none of the images used in this are my own
none of the images used in this are my own
17/12/2011
GOLD TOOTH
Finished at ASOS again, this time for Christmas, and was given this gold tooth bracelet, which I have paired with a great burgundy nail varnish. It's live on asos.com too, so go and get it.
PIGEON.
SHAMED.
CELEBRATED.
(look at P.W. go, he loves being a pigeon)
I was very tempted to pick the poor bastard up and take it to a Taxidermist to get stuffed, but unfortunately a envelope clutch bag isn't ideal for carrying foul, and Peckham high st is hardly the best place to collect dead things. I may have been accused of killing it.
14/12/2011
09/12/2011
COSTUME REQUESTS FOR MEATBALL
Since a lot of people seem to be enjoying Meatball's cat costumes (xmas pudding, 4th of july girl, gansta etc), I want to start doing more costume posts, so please comment/ email me the costumes you want to see him in, and i'll try my best with them.
Let's be honest, I'm obsessed with this ugly thug, and you all enjoy loling at my obsession/ his squish face.
08/12/2011
NAIL ROCK
Got some Nail Rock nail stickers and this fluro knit jumper today. The stickers look nowhere near as good as the ones on the pack's photo do (obvs photoshopped on) but then that was a given. It feels good to wear something colourful when the weather is so depressingly grey.
SPRING IN ST PETERSBURG.
Currently brushing up on my Russian (starting/ failing to learn more than two words), because I'm heading to St Petersburg in March! I've always wanted to go- mainly so I can meet suave men like the one above and see some pre-soviet palaces.
Getting the visa was an interesting procedure which involved a lot of money, a lot of form filling and a few encounters with the sexy doorman at the visa centre (I was creeping on him). Nothing is going to stop me from going on this trip!
07/12/2011
POETRY AND LETTERS DATED 2008
My god I used to write some really precocious, smug shit when I was fifteen. Some of it so terrible I thought I'd share it so you can laugh/ cringe too. I like the bit about the Harry Potter DVD the best.
Dear Mr Hendy,
I am writing to you concerning the London Underground
system, if one can even call it a system, as this term would require it to
actually function effectively.
Today, for example, I intended to travel from Oakwood to
Finsbury Park using the Piccadilly line, and then continue my journey to Oxford
Circus on the Victoria line- a simple enough journey. Unfortunately, soon after
I had purchased my overpriced ticket, I discovered that the Victoria line was
conveniently not in operation. May I remind you Sir that most people plan to
use public transport between 7am and 11pm. I suggest that in future,
construction work and other reasons for line closure could be completed during
the other hours of the day, rather than during peak times on a Saturday.
I decided to ignore this mild hiccup in my journey, and
instead continue on the Piccadilly line to Holborn. How, then, does a journey
that is supposed to take 31 minutes exactly, take 1 hour fifteen minutes? And why,
exactly, was I not told of these problems until I had purchased my ticket
(which for your information cost me more than my dinner in Pizza Express the
night before)? To be honest, I can accept that sometimes systems do fail, but I
find that the Underground fails me more often than not, and Sir you to would be
a little upset if you had experienced the depressing world ‘Replacement Bus
Services’ as much as I have.
In the country’s capital, I find it quite embarrassing to
have to explain to a tourist that no, it is not unusual for their train to be
delayed without explanation, and yes, vital sections of a line are often closed
during busy hours. After seeing their confused expressions, trying to work out
an alternative route to their chosen destination by skilfully dodging the
‘suspended’ segments of this weak system, I often take pity and suggest a taxi
may be more effective.
Thank you, London Transport, for taking fifteen pounds from
me so that I could use your so called ‘service’. I felt less cheated and ripped
off when I bought a ‘Harry Potter’ DVD from a street stall in Spain that turned
out to be blank.
Read: angry prick.
This is two thousand and eight years since Jesus.
What are we counting to? Pages in a book, bytes of software, minutes on
the clock, seconds of reaction time, pencils in a pot, images on a reel. Death? A date
with fate, a dance with the endless night. Working life long, till the moment life decides you’re
done with wreaking havoc on the world, making a mark, and that you’re better
off in the crushing earth, with a neat little stone- nothing more to symbolise
your entire existence.
Love, however, that’s the real tragedy. Unlike death, you may never
experience it.
CAN'T BELIEVE I WROTE THIS. IT WENT ON FOR 3 PAGES. I MUST HAVE THOUGHT I WAS BEING CLEVER. I ACTUALLY MENTIONED JESUS AND FATE AND SYMBOLISM AND LOVE IN THE SAME 7 LINES.
- luckily I documented this bullshit.
05/12/2011
NEVER GIVING BIRTH
NEVER GIVING BIRTH.
I caused such a scene over losing a toenail (there was a small amount of blood loss), screaming, crying and thrashing, that I have been advised to never give birth, since this would tip me over the edge, into a level of drama no one would be able to handle.
I caused such a scene over losing a toenail (there was a small amount of blood loss), screaming, crying and thrashing, that I have been advised to never give birth, since this would tip me over the edge, into a level of drama no one would be able to handle.
IF I COULD HAVE A SUPER POWER...
KIM KARDASHIAN (kimmy k)
I wish all photos of Kimmy K could be destroyed/ banned apart from this one. She would probably (maybe) win a few new fans because this photo makes her look human/lolzy/vunerable in a way that her Playboy shoot never could. I cannot believe that she hasn't yet sued whoever took this compromising shot though.
- THE TRUTH IS OUT HERE, AND I'M SPEAKING IT
THE VERY BEST OF THE DM COMMENTER'S NAMES-
as found week beginning 5/12/11
THE TRUTH IS OUT HERE, AND I'M SPEAKING IT
cate, on her high horse
Been there, seen it, Away in the USA
Still looking for Madeleine, Leicester
saying it as it is!, uk
pugmad, England
slim, london during term time only
shafted at every turn, Walsall UK
i Love Cheese, Bucks
the Lady..., in despair for this once beautiful country
LizardLady, Doncaster
Amazing.
as found week beginning 5/12/11
THE TRUTH IS OUT HERE, AND I'M SPEAKING IT
cate, on her high horse
Been there, seen it, Away in the USA
Still looking for Madeleine, Leicester
saying it as it is!, uk
pugmad, England
slim, london during term time only
shafted at every turn, Walsall UK
i Love Cheese, Bucks
the Lady..., in despair for this once beautiful country
LizardLady, Doncaster
Amazing.
BORN THIS WAY
No one can deny this sqwish faced angel. He was born this way.
Black and white prints will be available for the next few weeks. Order now for xmas.
JUST PUT YOUR PAWS UP
CHINS ARE A TROUBLE ZONE
Perusing through the DM 'Femail' section- I came across this article .
They have really outdone themselves here- instead of leaving readers dying for a juicy story on what was potentially a slow news (no news) day, the journos at the DM wrote a fantastically engaging and insightful article on the lolzyness of fatbooth.
To look like these women do in the mockups, the women would need to put on quite a bitte more than 100 lbs. BTW, have they done this to men?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)